So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
