quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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