I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
