I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
