I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
