it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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