What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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