Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
