it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize