There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
