Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
