So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize