perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
