I feel great
I just peed on a car
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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