Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
