then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
