He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
