Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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