great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
