I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
