its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Are my feet made of real feet?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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