I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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