sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
