My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
