Me. At least after what I've been through.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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