I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
