you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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