her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
only you would photoshop your dick
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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