I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize