Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
