Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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