she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
