I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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