talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
