I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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