I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
