You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
