well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize