she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
