i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
zippers are such a cool invention
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
