whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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