I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Found the puke drawer
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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