haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
