so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
