connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
