literally had 100 drinks last night.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
