I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So squirting runs in the family.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I did not marry a roomba.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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