have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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