question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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