Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
