Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Help. Why am I so naked?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
