Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
