My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
