Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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