she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
