i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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