Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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