he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Rumble strips road head = magical
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
