Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
