if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
